Extreme shyness causes you to have difficulty making conversation and become very nervous when you feel you have to be congenial with strangers; you simply do not know what to say. As a direct result your self-esteem suffers badly.
So, ask yourself these questions:
o Does the thought of meeting new people make you uneasy?
o Do you find it a struggle to come up with something to say to new acquaintances?
o Do you sometimes become tongue-tied around strangers and have feelings of low self-esteem?
o Do you avoid social gatherings where you’re certain to get left on your own?
o Do you have trouble speaking in large groups?
o Do you have trouble making eye contact when meeting someone new?
o Do you find it difficult to make new friends?
o Does talking to a member of the opposite sex make you nervous?
o Is dating nerve wracking to you?
o Are you at a loss for a retort when someone makes a wisecrack at your expense?
o When people take advantage of you, do you find it difficult to be assertive with them?
o Do you have trouble saying no to people?
o Do you fail to take compliments graciously?
o Do you have a tendency to chatter when you’re nervous and feel it’s better to be silent?
Most shy people wouldn’t choose this as a way of living their life; they’d prefer to be more outgoing, to be talkative and comfortable wherever they happen to be. Awkwardness in the company of others is embarrassing and makes you want to run and hide.
This is what drives the shy person into solitude. Unlike the introvert who prefers their solitude, extreme shyness forces you into it.
You can also determine whether your extreme shyness is a case of nature or nurture.
Was either of your parents shy? That would mean your genetic makeup could be the problem. Or were you a happy, outgoing child whose personality was abused by parents or teachers or other students during your growing up years?
Either way, you can relearn what you need to become a fully functioning person once again.
You needn’t live in isolation forever.